


Simon x David one shots.

by Seidraikiri



Category: Britain's Got Talent
Genre: Gay, Humor, Jealousy, M/M, Romance, gayyy, this is gay shit
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-07-28
Updated: 2017-07-28
Packaged: 2018-12-08 02:25:54
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Underage
Chapters: 3
Words: 2,440
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11637006
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Seidraikiri/pseuds/Seidraikiri
Summary: A series of Simon Cowell x David Walliams one shotsGay shit.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> I ship so much yaoi. Once I got into Britain's got talent--- Shipping Simon and David became a hobby.

Immediately answering his phone—It was his favorite person. How could he not?

"Simon?" the other person spoke. A smile graced Simon's face. "Yes David?"

"About your offer... About me going with you for AGT auditions? I'd love to go with you. Is that—"

"Of course it's alright David. Pack your things up, I'll be over in an hour."

|| 

Well, there were actually good reasons to go. David was a man with a mission; he zipped his suitcase.

He was going with Simon for the AGT auditions. To spend more time with him? Yes. 

To get an experience of AGT? Yes. To see Heidi's motives and why the bloody hell she was flirting Simon for a whole fucking week? YES.

He wasn't jealous. Just really _really_ irritated. It isn't fun to see someone flirting with your lover now it is? On camera? Certainly not.

He'd been watching the auditions 5 days before the BGT auditions ended—pity they reached the finals so fast—And every time he watched AGT Heidi always seemed to be talking or flirting—which is either laughing, holding hands and tapping shoulders to David. Which completely IRRITATED him.

He didn't hate her. He was just really...

Never mind. Eric and Bert were at Mum's so it was all good.

||

Simon's caller ID flashed on his phone, alerting that he was outside waiting. Grabbing his suitcase. He headed out.

||

Jumping excitedly into the seat, he kissed Simon on the cheek.

"I thought you didn't want to come." 

David rolled his eyes. "I changed my mind Si. I have nothing to do this week as I've already published my book. So I'm free for at least 2 weeks."

Simon smiled. "Good." his phone rang and Simon quickly smiled once more.

David raised his eyebrows in confusion. "What the hell are you smiling about?" 

"You'll be judging with me on the judging desk."

"How the bloody hell did you manage that? To expand the table?" awe-struck at how fast Simon could get things done.

"I didn't expand it. Just put another one with 5 seats. You are going to be judging for 2 weeks aren't you?"

David nodded, "Yes. But that was rather quick."

The older man chuckled. "I know a guy."

"Who knows another guy!" David said, playing with eyebrows coyly. 

Simon shook his head amused-ly. "Shut up. Don't start with that hell game."

David chuckled. "But I always have to finish what I start." he said, immediately blushing after.

||

Landing in USA was rather exciting. Everyone was friendly and all. Simon's driver came to pick them up and they went straight for the auditions.

It was the 5th week of AGT and David would be their 2nd guest star this year.

||

"Oh shut up Howie." Mel groaned. 

Heidi laughed. "When's Simon getting here?" she asked.

Howie stood. "He did say he was bringing a guest star didn't he?"

Mel giggled. She knew exactly who the guest star was. 

flashback start

"I know David. I'll be back tomorrow evening." A loud voice on the other side and a loud laugh emitted from Simon." "I'll be back darling. Just some hours."

Sighing, the AGT boss sat down and plugged his phone to the charger. He muttered something about Tyra and headed for the door. Mel quickly hid.

Once he was gone, she walked towards his desk. Curiosity made her grab Simon's phone.

She knew Simon didn't have a password so she pressed the home button and picture of small boy smiling appeared.

'Must be Eric.'

She glided her thumb on the screen, unlocking it. She expected to see Simon's girlfriend... Wife? But it was the comedian David Walliams smiling. David Walliams was Simon's home screen picture?

She was shocked out of her sneaking when;

  
"Mel? Are you going through my phone?"

The woman blushed in shame. "No. I heard you talking to someone. A man. And you called him darling. So I was wondering you know. Is David Walliams your—"

"Husband? Yes."

Mel let out a girly squeal. "That's so cute! I thought you were single?"

"I'm not."

"What about Lauren? I rememb—"

"Divorced. Now the show is starting. So we shou—"

"When will we meet David?"

Simon blushed. "Yes. Maybe... I need to—Let's go the show is in 5."

Flashback end

Just as she giggled at the thought, Simon walked in. Followed by a taller man.

Mel's eyebrows shot up. It was David!

Walking towards them. Simon smiled. "Sorry I'm late. This is our guest star—"

"—The famous comedian David Walliams!" Howie exclaimed.

David chuckled. "I don't know about 'famous.' But Yes! David Walliams."

Mel smiled, liking him already. The same emotion mirrored on Howie's face. 

"Well I'm Mel." She pointed at herself. "This is Howie and Heidi. Welcome to AGT Honey."

David smiled. "Thank you. I do hope we can enjoy and get along."

Simon coughed. "Since when are you so bloody etiquette?"  he ruffled Simon's hair and laughed "When does the show start?"

The bell rang just at that moment.

||

On the bright side, he was sitting near Simon. Simon was at the end, followed by David, Heidi, Mel then Howie.

Heidi glared at David. "You changed the siting positions?" she asked.

Simon hummed in agreement. "You don't mind do you?" 

She shook her head too quickly and declined too quick for David to know she was lying. The first act walked onto stage and the crowd let out wolf whistles and so did David who immediately received a glare from Simon. 

"Hello boys. What will you be doing for us today?"

"Yes. What will you be doing for us. Do tell." David smirkingly repeated. Making Howie, Mel and the audience laughed. 

Simon groaned. As much as he loved David. Sometimes he was bit too much.

||

"Simon?" Heidi called. 

The man turned to give her his attention . David leaned back—unwillingly. 

"How many auditions left?" She asked and pushed her bangs behind her ear. If David had a nickel for every time women did that around Simon he'd be rich than the man himself.

"20 more acts to go. The break is soon. So, about 2 hours left?" he looked at David and smiled. 

Heidi glared, "So David. Tell me about your—"

The speakers began to play and the next act started. 

Two people walked onto stage; A man and a woman. 

David greeted the, "Hello. Welcome to AGT. What will you be doing for us today?"

"Stunts and dangerous tricks." the woman answered. The man next to her nodded. "We'll need some volunteers. Simon and..."

David quickly put his hand up childishly causing everyone to laugh. "And Heidi... David you can be our assistant."

The three climbed on to the stage and  the man told David to hand him the knives. Which the man unsheathed. 

"Don't hurt My Simon." he exclaimed. Causing the audience and judges to laugh. 

Heidi frowned at that.

Simon blushed. "Will you stop that?" 

The comedian titled his head innocently. "Stop what?"

Simon shook his head.

||

The show was over and they all headed to the studio where they decided they would order dinner.

"Why don't you tell us a bit about yourself David?" Heidi asked. 

David rubbed his beard sheepishly. "Uh... Where do I start?" 

"How old are you?" Howie asked. 

"45." 

Mel's eyes widened. "45?! You look around 38!"

David chuckled. "Thank you. And uh, well I'm a comedian, writer, philanthropist. I love swimming, ask Simon. He enjoys seeing me in—"

Simon clamped his hand over the 45 year old's mouth, blushing. 

Heidi raised her eyebrow at that. "You're married?"

David nodded. "Yes. I am."

She pressed further, "To who? If you don't mind telling."

"Well I'm bi-sexual. I'm married to man though."

Mel smirked. "I think I know who it is." Howie agreed, smiling and glancing at Simon.

Heidi grit her teeth. "To who?"

"I'm married to Simon Cowell. Simon Cowell is my husband."

Curiosity kills the cat. Heidi nodded. Mel squealed. "Why didn't you tell us Simon?"

 "It never popped up?"

Heidi stood up and walked out. David cringed. "Is it something?..."

Mel nodded. "She kind of had feelings for Simon."

David made a dead-panned face. "Lots of women do." he pointed at Simon accusingly. "I'm not talking to you."

Simon's forehead furrowed. "David darling..." 

David and stood and followed Heidi to apologize. 

||

"Heidi I..."

The woman smiled. "It's fine." David surprisingly enveloped her into a hug.

"Simon's a bit big headed though. Even though I've been married to him for 2 years now."

She chuckled. "You love him. Don't you?"

"To bits."

"What about him?" she asked.

"He—"

"I love him more." Simon answered. Standing right behind them.


	2. 2

**David is** **submissive** **.**   
**Simon Is Dominant.**   
**Lauren is not** **married** **to Simon. But she will appear once in a while.**

**Warnings:These are gay one shots.** **Contains** **lots of Gay content.**

**Anyways, enjoy!**

**]|[**

The judges chatted as they waited for the last act to get on stage. David cheekily smiled at Simon. Who rose his eyebrows in confusion.

Alesha leant backwards letting Simon see David better. She smirked. Simon acted so damn stupid at times. Even though the two were secretly dating.

Just before Simon could ask David about the cheeky smile he was being given. The last contestant walked onto the stage.

David smiled at the man. "Hello. You are?"

The man smiled back. "Josh Curnow."

"Are you married?" David teased.

"No. But I'm dating."

David groaned in disappointment. The man on stage laughed. "It's fine David. We could go out for a while if you--"

Simon interrupted. "I wouldn't go there if I were you."

Amanda's eyebrows shot up. " Why not? His just joking."

Simon rolled his eyes. "He's here to perform isn't he?" he lied.

The man nodded. Clearly embarrassed.

**]|[**   
**Back in** **the** **studio.**

"What was that about?" David asked  
  
Simon frowned. "What was what about?"

"The "I wouldn't go there if I were you." You do know he was joking?"

Simon looked sideways.   
"It was nothing. He came to perform not flirt."

David laughed. "You're jealous!"

"Not."

"Yes you are! You're jealous."

"Shut up." Simon blushed lightly.

David stood up and ruffled the older man's hair.

"Don't worry. I'm always going to flirt with you."

Simon groaned. Curse human emotions. But he still smiled inside.


	3. 3

Alesha let out a small 'whoop.' Once the act finished. Amanda and her stood up to applaud. "That was simply amazing girls! The passion! The rhythm."

"On all terms. I agree with Alesha. I simply love disney princesses."

David chuckled at Amanda's comment. "Wonderful girls. I think you should make a position for Amanda... As a witch."

The blonde stood up and whacked the comedian on the shoulder. 

Simon smiled. "I do agree with David actually. Otherwise—ow!" he exclaimed as Amanda pinched him. "I'm just agreeing with David Ama—ow!" 

David chuckled once more. "It's a yes from all of us girls. Thank you."

"You're so mean Simon." The blonde judge huffed. 

"I was just agreeing with David." 

"You agree on everything with David." Alesha stated. Making the comedian next to her blush and speak up. "Not everything actually." he said, his blush increasing. 

Simon smirked at his lover's face. "Well... Is Stephen coming or no—"

Drum rolls emitted from the speakers. The lights twirled dramatically and Stephen come walking in. "Good evening Manchester!" 

The crowd applauded and Stephen joined the judges at the panel. "Good evening judges. David." 

Simon raised an eyebrow at that. "Why did you greet David individually?" 

"Because, he's my favorite judge."

"I pay you." Simon stated. 

"After you! David is my favorite judge after you!"

David threw his hands up in annoyance. "Why'd you bribe him? That's unfair!"

Simon laughed. "Life's unfair darling."

"Tonight will be too." David grumbled and the girls burst out laughing. "You're not getting anything tonight!" Alesha exclaimed. 

The crowd exclaimed. "DAMON~!"

The BGT boss frowned. "Get on it with it Stephen." The man nodded, "So tonight. Simon! Will be ranking his fellow judges!!"

The crowd applauded. 

"Girls. David, please go on stage."

They did so and stood near the ranking podium. "Simon, here are 10 flashcards. You will rank them according to the question."

The 57-year old nodded and read the first question. "This is one is rather easy." he smiled. "David, go to number 1. Amanda, Alesha number 3."

The girls chuckled. "What's the question?" Alesha asked. 

"Whose the most annoying?" Stephen read out. Making David burst out with laughter at the certainty. 

Ranking the next 5 questions was easy. The last 4... Were rather interesting. 

Simon bit his lip. "David number 1. Girls, number 2."

"There's no number 3?" Stephen asked. He raised his eyebrow in confusion and read the question. "Who is the most sexy?" Stephen chuckled. While David posed. 

He handed Simon the next card. "Hmm... Alesha number 1. Amanda number 3. And uh David darling, take 5 steps away."

David's face scrunched in confusion, but he did so. 

Stephen laughed before reading the question. "Who is less likely to get in bed with you?"

David laughed then frowned. "WAIT! So Amanda could get in bed with you?!"

Simon shrugged making the comedian exclaimed "Simon!" sending Amanda and Alesha into giggles.

"Alright next question." Simon smirked, "David number 1. Amanda number 3... And also you Alesha."

"I hope it's something good." The comedian grumbled. Making Simon's smirk wider. "Well... It's the truth." 

Stephen smiled and read it out. "Whose sat in your lap the most?"

David shouted. "It's true!" making the audience cheer and giggle. One person in the audience stood and screamed. "Damon!" 

Simon took the next card and immediately flushed pink. 

"Is it something dirty Simon?" Alesha asked, making the BGT boss chuckle more. 

"Oh no." Amanda groaned. "Yes!" David cheered cockily.

"David number 1... And girls please take lots of steps away."

"I have a good idea what this is about." Alesha whispered to Amanda. "So do I." 

Stephen read the card, and boy did he blush. "The question is..." his face becoming more red by the second. "Who been in bed with you more than 7 times."

The crowd cheered so loud and screamed and applauded.

David on stage blushed and bit his lip. 

"You can come back and sit judges." Stephen gestured. 

Once the judges were seated. Amanda giggled. "Look at how flustered David is." 

Simon smirked. 

Amanda stood. "Come sit next to Simon honey." she told the comedian. Whose blush intensified more. Simon's signature smirk appeared on his face once more. "You are such an ass." David whispered. 

"I like your ass? Yes. Yes I do." Simon burst out laughing when David covered his face in embarrassment. 


End file.
